In five days, I will be graduating Aidan. GRADUATING MY FIRSTBORN! At his graduation, his dad and I will hand him his diploma and say a little something to him (with tears pouring forth from my eyeballs.) Last week, Aidan and I were scouring old scrapbooks for photos for his slideshow. We came across many gems. All the while, emotions churned inside of me.
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| Aidan, 6 days old. |
Flashbacks and memories surface, bringing joy, sorrow and wonder. One memory that surfaces is every mama telling me how quickly times flies as I am holding my newborn man-cub. As a new mama, I simply could not fathom. But it is true, painfully so. They do indeed grow up so very fast.
The predominant emotion I am feeling this week is joy. Joy and gratitude well up inside me as I think back to all the ups and downs Aidan and I have had. The stand-offs, the fights, the tears were all very real and seemed to last an eternity. The fun, the laughter, the incessant teasing…well, that does last a lifetime.
I confess that one of the reasons I decided to homeschool is because I wanted to forge a close relationship with my man-cub. There were many days when I wondered if this desire would actually become a reality. Aidan and I have worked very hard to have a close relationship. It’s been a difficult journey. However, all the hard work, tears, fights and prayers have been worth it.
Another feeling I have is pride. Of course, I take some of the credit for who Aidan has become. The Bean and I have been a major influence on him, for better or worse. The Bean is an amazing husband and father. Yet, I don’t take all the credit. Aidan is an amazing young man because he is an amazing young man. I am proud of him because I have seen him make good choices for his life, without our help. I am proud of him because when the going gets rough, Aidan grabs his guitar and begins to worship the One who gave him life. I am proud of him because he is his own person, separate from me.
I feared this separation, honestly. When he was twelve, I felt the Lord begin to prepare me for the pain. I am grateful for the warning. I haven’t always handled the separation well, but I see now it’s the healthiest thing a mama can do. Recently, a wise woman encouraged me that man-cubs do leave their mama, but they come back eventually. I am holding onto this promise today as I countdown to graduation.
meg on tap 
It is such a messy time emotionally. We teach them to fly and then when they do, it can be scary to watch. Will they fall? Will they fly away forever. Proud of you for holding it all. xx
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