Thoughts on Porn and Sexuality

Have you heard about the Celebrity nude photo hack? Several celebrities had private, explicit photos hacked, then sent over the Internet for anybody to stumble upon. I read an article last week that deeply affected me. I could not stop thinking about it…as in every waking moment. This is how I know I am to blog about something. If you could hear my conversation with the Lord, it would sound something like this, “Really, Lord? Porn? I am going to blog about pornography?” Deep sigh. 

By Pat Loika (Comic-Con 2013) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Comic Con 2013 By Pat Loika (Flickr) Permission given here.

Jennifer Lawrence is rightfully upset, calling it a “sex crime.” But her explanation grieved me. She mentioned the reason she sent photos that were explicit to her boyfriend because “…either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”  Just think about that statement. She’s one of the most beautiful, down to earth women on the planet. I’m grieved because of the accepted attitude that women must do certain things in order to keep their men happy. Also, it’s accepted that porn is just what men do. Boys will be boys, right? The message is everywhere that women must keep their men happy in bed otherwise they just have to go to porn. There is something wrong with that mindset and it pisses me off. There is a ridiculous song by Ludacris that confirms this idea. The lyrics say, “We want a lady on the street but a freak in bed!” Seriously, that’s all they want? This is the message today, being sung for young women and young men. This is shaping the way they think about women, sex and intimacy (well, there is not much intimacy through porn!) 

Why am I so offended over pornography? Because it degrades and objectifies women, because porn wrecks men’s view of women and their bodies and porn distorts the beautiful gift of sex that God gave to us. Pornography also messes with the brain! Dr. Jeffrey Satinover wrote, “[M]odern science allows us to understand that the underlying nature of an addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction.” [Emphasis mine.] 

I am always asking questions. One question I ask over and over and over again is why sex and sexuality are under attack all the time? What I mean is why is this beautiful gift distorted and marred for us? Why? I believe it has something to do with the process of two becoming one. This flies in the face of the popular ideology that states we are just animals.  If we are told long enough that we are just animals, then we will act like animals. What if Adam Levine is wrong? Are we really just animals? What if that is simply not true? What if we were created with value, love and purpose? What if one of our purposes was to become one with another person; uniting bodies, souls and minds? What if there is more to sex than just taking from someone? What if sex was meant to be a gift we give to one person and one person only? If we were created with value, love and purpose then it makes sense to me that our bodies are to be valued and loved, not used and abused.  

The Gift by Fe Ilya, permission given here. From Flickr.

Have you ever thought about why God put the Song of Solomon in the Bible? I think about it quite often because I teach this book quite often. I think it is one of my very favorite things about God. He made very sure this beautiful, erotic poem is in His holy Bible. Why? I believe it’s because He wanted His people to know what the proper view of sexuality should be. I believe it’s because God gave this gift of love and sexuality to us and He knows how we distort and mar it. He also knows that when we distort and mar sex, the effects distort and mar our souls, not just our bodies. 

What if there is a better way to handle sex and sexuality? I think there is and I will continue to shout it from the rooftops that there is a better way. If I could, I would want to hug Jennifer Lawrence because I can’t imagine what she’s gone through, how embarrassing it must be to have private photos splashed all over the internet! If I could speak to men, I would tell them that their bodies are valuable and those sexual urges are normal but I’d tell them it’s possible to control them and how worth it is to wait. Men are not just animals. If I could speak to women, I’d say that their bodies are beautiful and valuable and not just objects for men to use. There can be sexual healing! Sex is beautiful and normal and a gift from God. We must use it wisely. 



What messages does society preach about sexuality and how has it affected you? 





  

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7 thoughts on “Thoughts on Porn and Sexuality

  1. great post. I am so grieved by the way the porn industry has been used to target and enslave this generation of young men. The very men we need to be equipped and fighting the battle to END trafficking are enslaved in the very same industry. It is sad. They don't want to be! We need to pray for a massive move of the Holy Spirit to BREAK this addiction for our young men!!! Check out http://www.fightthenewdrug.org They are awesome.

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  2. Thank you so much for these wise powerful words! I love what you said about why it matters – that it has to do with a beautiful mystery that God gave us as people in sex. It's so amazing. Such a gift and so worth savoring and cherishing and protecting.

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  3. Don't forget that it works both ways here. I know it's not spoken about often, but women are just as guilty. I'm personally thinking about porn, but it can also be applied to cheesy romantic novels or movies like the notebook or the lucky one. I completely agree that our men are under attack, but don't let your guard down either! Women are not exempt of having porn addictions or misguided ideals on how a relationship needs to be.

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